The State of the Blog

We need to talk...

I've been sitting on making this post for a while now and even though it's going live I'm still not happy with it. Mostly because I just can't find the words to explain what I mean (this is all just a rambling stream of consciousness that... still doesn't really explain things), but also because I don't really enjoy admitting defeat.

For a while now, my heart hasn't quite been in my blog. I've wanted to blog, wanted to stick to my three day a week posting schedule, but the idea well seems to have dried up. The stack of reviews has started to shrink., the unread books have all been featured before. The joy started to seep out. And that's not what I want for my blog. I don't want it to be a chore, or something that I have to do, but I also haven't wanted to stop. I've been stuck in limbo between not posting anything, reducing what I do post, and posting half-arsed content.

Uni isn't helping much right now, either. My days are spent on trains and with my head in my notes, reading about the history of psychology and the structure of the brain, writing page upon page in the hopes of creating revision resources. It's exhausting trying to adjust to it all and fend off a relapse - because I know if I'm going to have one it'll be in winter and be brought on by the stress of feeling behind - but it's good to be engaging my brain again even if I am up to my eyeballs in lecture notes. There are moments of free time, though, don't get me wrong! I don't have to work during my commute and I've set a firm ban on working past six, but the last things I want to be doing after all that reading and writing is more reading and writing - reading and writing that I can choose to do and that isn't actually important.

Of course, I still love my blog, but I've been doing this since 2013 and I'm jaded. I don't want to quit, but some days I can't see the point in continuing as I'm not getting what I want from it any more. And it's not even about the numbers (though it is disheartening to see such little acknowledgement and interaction), it's about feeling pressured to review things and come up with interesting content, finding the words when writing and expressing myself has never been my strong suit.

So... What am I going to do about it?

1. I know some of my issues are largely my fault - I know. I'm awful at reading other blogs and remembering to leave comments. Awful at following others and getting to know people. Networking exhausts me, to be quite honest, and it turns blogging into a chore. The only way to combat this is to start reading blogs again, and I might do this. Maybe not, though. No promises.

2. I'm also going to give myself November off in terms of reviews. You might have noticed that there weren't many TBR Features in October, and while it was a tricky decision to make it was ultimately for the best. They'll be back in November, but reviews will take a backseat instead, mostly so I can refill my stock of them for the new year.

3. There may be an increase in video posts, depending on my confidence and spare time. I really enjoyed my birthday book haul video and, despite it still being unlisted on YouTube, I think I'd like to try my hand at making more. However, if I feel like I don't have the time for blogging surely it's better to just stop hobbies for the time being and not just switch one out for the other? We'll see.

4. Generally, though, things will just be a bit inconsistent. Probably until the new year when I'll have hopefully decided on what to really do with the blog.